I am....

What a difference a few days can make.  Being home now and 10 days after surgery I am still moving slowly but can honestly say I feel better everyday.  So I went to church today; that did me as much good as any medicine I could have received.  All the hugs and well wishers letting me know they had been praying for me; telling me how much they cared for me was like a shot of love... if there was such a thing.

Today I thought back to just 10 months ago when I was in the pit of depression.  About the three ring circus that played it's pipe organ in my head, the lies Satan had told me that started in one ring only to fuel the second ring then he third.  Lies of being unloved and unworthy. The thoughts went back to the day that I had thought of the pile of unused pills, "just how many would it take....?" then how I had given up and confessed that I needed Jesus to save my life,  because I was unable to save myself.  Lies, all lies. I was loved evidenced by the texts and emails sent to me from friends saying they were praying for me.  From the hundreds Facebook likes and posts on my health updates.  I was worthy; because God said so. Evidenced by the way He has walked me through the kidney cancer removal and the speedy recovery.  And by the many that have called me an inspiration to them...Who? Me?  Really?  Yes, I am worthy, I am loved, I am healing. 

In the name of Jesus we have been promised by God great things.  He promises to be with us in every circumstance. Knowing that we should love Jesus for all the great things He has done and is doing for us.
On November 20th I will go see the lung doctor.  This should be the last hurdle in this current attack.  Once again I know that God could heal me and I wouldn't need the Chemo, that I will go through this latest storm of treatments with God at my side, or I could see Jesus first hand if my body cannot handle it.  But no matter what I will sing-

Oh how I love Jesus.

Oh how I love Jesus.

Oh how I love Jesus, because He first loved me

Amen!