Thursday, February 12, 2015

Toxic Relationships

I shared a story few weeks ago about cutting out toxic relationships.  I mentioned three things that designated a toxic relationship, they were:

Continuous strife between you
Chains you to your past
Takes advantage of your heart

Once you make a big change in your life, like excepting Christ as your savior, it is really hard for some people to accept the new you.  Unfortunately, a lot of these are people that have known you for a long time,they may be family.  These people know how you lived in the world before you developed your new relationship with God.    Perhaps they are not saved themselves, or they call themselves Christians but they do not have a relationship with God.  By that I mean they believe in God but never really developed their love with & for God or never realized (actually felt) God's love for them. 
The thing is, it's probably not their fault.  No one taught them about the relationship part, they only know the religious part, as in the law of God.  It seems like it's all rules and do's and do not's to them. So their vision is skewed when they look at you within your new life. 
Continuous Strife or continuous drama plagues the two of you because they have a hard time believing what you are saying, or the new way you are acting.  They are chained to the past, to your old self.  This person (the old you) is familiar to them; they knew what to expect from the person you were then. By allowing them to treat you this way you are allowing them to chain you to your past every time they are around you.  You have worked hard to get out of the pit, do not let them pull you back in- break that chain!

Then there are those that have accepted you in your new season of life. They realize your heart has  changed and how best take advantage of you.  You see it isn't about rules, but the closer you grow with God & Jesus, the more you want to live the good life.  The more you want to live like Jesus.  Your heart may soften towards a particular mission, because that is God's plan for you. 
Let's say you were a woman beaten up mentally and physically, now having been out of that situation for years, God gives you a heart for hurting women.  Now let's say a family member or a old friend that knows your past well, tells you stories that constantly play on your sympathies.  So you  mentally & financially help supply their needs, you take up their cross so to speak, always defending them only to discover that this person was telling you half truths.  Learning the full truth you realize they were just as at fault in the situations as anyone else in their stories told to you.  That is taking advantage of your heart. 
Toxic relationships. Jesus warned the disciples about them just before sending them out on their own:
 “Don’t be bluffed into silence by the threats of bullies. There’s nothing they can do to your soul, your core being. Save your fear for God, who holds your entire life—body and soul—in his hands. Matthew 10:28 (MSG)
“Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies.  Matthew 10:34-37 (MSG) 


 
So don't give up.  If the chosen disciples were subject to toxic relationships then how much more should we expect it today?  It's spiritual warfare- pick up your sword and swing it! 


 

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