Depression and This Christian Woman: Road to Recovery

An Open Book

I have now seen another Doctor, received and began taking medication again.  At least for the time being while I learn to deal with some emotional issues by talking with a therapist.  

I have always said “I am an open book”  ask me anything and I will tell you. I never wanted something that I have gone through and learned from,  be with held from someone else if it could help them avoid the painful mistakes I had endured.  I suppose the one problem I have had with that thought process is internalizing things that, one- might hurt someone else and two- no one asked about. So these unspoken past events I internalized and analyzed, then reanalyzed.

Open Your Eyes

Have you ever been confronted by someone about a past event where they were hurt by something you said or did? After an in-depth discussion you uncover that the issue was misunderstanding of what you said, or perhaps the offended person didn’t know the facts of why you did what you did.  But how did the issue get so huge? 

Once the offense is replayed enough times in the mind (analyzed, then reanalyzed) you begin to make it fact.  Suddenly the “you didn't have to do that for me” becomes “I am angry because you did that to me”. 

While it has been easy for me to recognize this thought process in others, I never saw that I was doing the same thing. “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. Matthew 7:1-5 The Message

Road to Recovery

I am on the road to recovery, I am packing up the emotional baggage and dropping it off somewhere- not sure where, but I am not bringing it back with me!  It feels great to have a plan!  It will be a long process I am afraid, but one that God will be with me and give me the strength to get through, one that I am really looking forward to being on the other side of....Amen! The day will be soon coming that Satan will say " Oh crap, She's awake again!"

I can hear the song Happy by Farrell Williams  playing in my head and long to feel like clapping along because I feel like a room with out a roof...  cuz the possibilities are endless.