Getting Past The Hurt

I haven’t written for a while.  Truth is I have been trying to work through a personal struggle.  Now I think I can share some of the lesson with you.  I welcome your comments and questions, so many people go through hurts, we need to help each other learn to get through it.

How do you get past the pain when someone you care about has hurt you?  Whether it is a friend, a spouse or a child, when someone close to you does or says something that hurts it always seems to sting a little worse and is harder to get past.  

I live in a coastal community, so I know when a storm comes in from the water the waves get bigger and erodes more of the beach.  If there are any structures standing near by, as the beach is eroded away the structure will collapse.

Unresolved hurts, like the waves lapping at the shore, slowly erode the things around it. You are likely to create a wall to prevent being hurt again, or distrust others because of what someone else did; but before you know it like the waves erode an insufficient seawall, your waves of past hurts will eroded a current relationship. 

So what do you do? 

What do you do? How do you get past all the pain and move on? 

You say that you forgive them, after all forgiveness is for you to heal. You know the bible verses that teach you how to respond and act. You know that God loves you and the other person, you know you should love like Jesus. You tell yourself to move on, it’s okay, forget about it, but you can’t.   

Look hard at the situation, how does it make you feel.  Write down those feelings, think about them, can you relate these words to a past hurt that you never really got over? 

For instance a child of divorced parents may carry the feelings of rejection into areas of their adult life.  Then as an adult have rejection issues because Dad or Mom left them.

That child may even distrust God our Father; not being able to separate the earthly father from the heavenly Father.

Know this.  There is no better way to get free from all our past than to give it over to God, He will set you free.

So if the son sets you free, you will be really free.  John 8:36

When you are really free from worry, guilt and bitterness; you are free to quit pretending that everything is “fine” and be yourself.  

There are times that sharing the situation with a trusted friend will help you heal, as I was dealing with my hurts this last month a very sweet woman those friendship I treasure gave me this scripture and said this to me:

“But I believe that God is in every aspect of our lives and he protects us from things we

may never know about.   

The Lord himself watches over you!  The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.  The sun will not hurt you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord keeps you from all evil and preserves your life.  The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. Psalm 121:5-8 

I will continue to lift you to the throne in prayer.  Trust in Him to see you through this to the end.  He loves you Sherry!  Me too!"

Though I thanked her for this, she may never know how deeply it affected me, how comforting it was to know that someone else felt my pain. That someone else would care enough to pray for me and the situation.  That someone else would listen to Gods urging and write to me such encouraging words.

So to sum it up I have learned is this-

Trust God.  He will heal you, He loves you and wants to take away your pain.  

God speaks. Listen for Him.  Watch for Him in unexpected places.

Trust a friend. God wants to use others to help you heal. 

Listening for God in a Storm

Have you been in a situation where the storm seems so strong that you thought you would drown? You know you should trust that the Lord has the situation under control, but is hard not to focus on the problem at hand.

A year ago we moved back to Florida from Missouri under less than ideal circumstances.  While I was ecstatic that we were moving home and closer to our children and grandchildren, I was angry and hurt by situation I was “forced” into.

When we look back it is so much easier to see God’s Plan unfold.  We now feel we over stayed in Missouri and that God was speaking to us -showing us it was time to go but we couldn’t hear Him because the storm was so loud. My husband lost his job after six months, in fact he had four jobs in fourteen months.  I was sick most of the time while we were there and discovered after eight months in,  that the house we rented had been used as a Meth house. But we pressed on – praying God would “fix” our circumstances instead of listening and watching for Him.  Looking back we see God was answering our prayers, but we were trying to “fix “the situation ourselves.  Then came the big one-the move at a big financial loss.  But that got our attention!

Yes, I was angry and hurt by the situation I felt forced into but the truth is it was my own lack of faith.  Those that were positioned within our circumstances were part of the big plan God was using to bring changes to our lives.

Are you in the midst  of a storm?  God’s word tells us to-

“Be still, and know that I am God” Psalms 46:10 

Take time to pray and then listen for God’s voice and watch for things He is doing, then trust Him.

"Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for GOD’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to GOD!" (emphasis mine) 

Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG