Let It Go

Have you ever felt like you can’t get away from a past failure?   I have for sure, a few times.  This latest being more of a heart hurt than others because it effects my passion for helping other women.   I was asking myself why am I crying over this? Now I admit I am a little over emotional at times, and the tears seem to come easily, too easily, in fact, it's almost ridiculous.  This is a real battle for me. I dislike it when the tears flow at inappropriate times, especially during little confrontations. Therefore, I’m always proud when I am able to hold them back, you may even hear a sigh of relief.

 Anyway, back to the question, “Why am I crying over this?” Well,  I suppose at first thought I am hurt by not being included. But that is like stating the obvious.  Could it be that the previous insinuation was different than what actually transpired?  Well yes, and added to the pointed exclusion could be the reason for the tears.

So my next thought is, what could I have done different, I mean what is the opposite and would that have worked better for me and avoid these dreaded tears?  What is the opposite of this inward crush? Outward anger? Woah, yes that is the opposite, but no that is not the way to handle it.  That is a lesson from past failures already learned, I had been that person many years before and have no desire to met up with her again. 

But that comparison helps me to realize why the tears flow. I haven’t found the middle.  I need to discover an emotion middle ground somewhere between the drippy, weepy lady and the angry, crazy lady to call up when my feelings are just hurt.

Now I realize this may sound a bit like a Disney movie, but for now the best thing to do is pray about it, take a deep breath and let it all go. Trust God to take care of it all for you.  In the long run He has the best plan anyway.

So my prayer is this, God I don’t want to be hot or cold in this area of my life, help me to find the appropriate feeling for the appropriate time, somewhere in the middle. I pray that the words from my mouth are always encouraging to others.  And God, please help others not to judge me by my past failures, I am aware of them and I don’t need to be reminded again.  Amen

Getting Past The Hurt

I haven’t written for a while.  Truth is I have been trying to work through a personal struggle.  Now I think I can share some of the lesson with you.  I welcome your comments and questions, so many people go through hurts, we need to help each other learn to get through it.

How do you get past the pain when someone you care about has hurt you?  Whether it is a friend, a spouse or a child, when someone close to you does or says something that hurts it always seems to sting a little worse and is harder to get past.  

I live in a coastal community, so I know when a storm comes in from the water the waves get bigger and erodes more of the beach.  If there are any structures standing near by, as the beach is eroded away the structure will collapse.

Unresolved hurts, like the waves lapping at the shore, slowly erode the things around it. You are likely to create a wall to prevent being hurt again, or distrust others because of what someone else did; but before you know it like the waves erode an insufficient seawall, your waves of past hurts will eroded a current relationship. 

So what do you do? 

What do you do? How do you get past all the pain and move on? 

You say that you forgive them, after all forgiveness is for you to heal. You know the bible verses that teach you how to respond and act. You know that God loves you and the other person, you know you should love like Jesus. You tell yourself to move on, it’s okay, forget about it, but you can’t.   

Look hard at the situation, how does it make you feel.  Write down those feelings, think about them, can you relate these words to a past hurt that you never really got over? 

For instance a child of divorced parents may carry the feelings of rejection into areas of their adult life.  Then as an adult have rejection issues because Dad or Mom left them.

That child may even distrust God our Father; not being able to separate the earthly father from the heavenly Father.

Know this.  There is no better way to get free from all our past than to give it over to God, He will set you free.

So if the son sets you free, you will be really free.  John 8:36

When you are really free from worry, guilt and bitterness; you are free to quit pretending that everything is “fine” and be yourself.  

There are times that sharing the situation with a trusted friend will help you heal, as I was dealing with my hurts this last month a very sweet woman those friendship I treasure gave me this scripture and said this to me:

“But I believe that God is in every aspect of our lives and he protects us from things we

may never know about.   

The Lord himself watches over you!  The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.  The sun will not hurt you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord keeps you from all evil and preserves your life.  The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. Psalm 121:5-8 

I will continue to lift you to the throne in prayer.  Trust in Him to see you through this to the end.  He loves you Sherry!  Me too!"

Though I thanked her for this, she may never know how deeply it affected me, how comforting it was to know that someone else felt my pain. That someone else would care enough to pray for me and the situation.  That someone else would listen to Gods urging and write to me such encouraging words.

So to sum it up I have learned is this-

Trust God.  He will heal you, He loves you and wants to take away your pain.  

God speaks. Listen for Him.  Watch for Him in unexpected places.

Trust a friend. God wants to use others to help you heal.