Getting Past The Hurt

I haven’t written for a while.  Truth is I have been trying to work through a personal struggle.  Now I think I can share some of the lesson with you.  I welcome your comments and questions, so many people go through hurts, we need to help each other learn to get through it.

How do you get past the pain when someone you care about has hurt you?  Whether it is a friend, a spouse or a child, when someone close to you does or says something that hurts it always seems to sting a little worse and is harder to get past.  

I live in a coastal community, so I know when a storm comes in from the water the waves get bigger and erodes more of the beach.  If there are any structures standing near by, as the beach is eroded away the structure will collapse.

Unresolved hurts, like the waves lapping at the shore, slowly erode the things around it. You are likely to create a wall to prevent being hurt again, or distrust others because of what someone else did; but before you know it like the waves erode an insufficient seawall, your waves of past hurts will eroded a current relationship. 

So what do you do? 

What do you do? How do you get past all the pain and move on? 

You say that you forgive them, after all forgiveness is for you to heal. You know the bible verses that teach you how to respond and act. You know that God loves you and the other person, you know you should love like Jesus. You tell yourself to move on, it’s okay, forget about it, but you can’t.   

Look hard at the situation, how does it make you feel.  Write down those feelings, think about them, can you relate these words to a past hurt that you never really got over? 

For instance a child of divorced parents may carry the feelings of rejection into areas of their adult life.  Then as an adult have rejection issues because Dad or Mom left them.

That child may even distrust God our Father; not being able to separate the earthly father from the heavenly Father.

Know this.  There is no better way to get free from all our past than to give it over to God, He will set you free.

So if the son sets you free, you will be really free.  John 8:36

When you are really free from worry, guilt and bitterness; you are free to quit pretending that everything is “fine” and be yourself.  

There are times that sharing the situation with a trusted friend will help you heal, as I was dealing with my hurts this last month a very sweet woman those friendship I treasure gave me this scripture and said this to me:

“But I believe that God is in every aspect of our lives and he protects us from things we

may never know about.   

The Lord himself watches over you!  The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.  The sun will not hurt you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord keeps you from all evil and preserves your life.  The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever. Psalm 121:5-8 

I will continue to lift you to the throne in prayer.  Trust in Him to see you through this to the end.  He loves you Sherry!  Me too!"

Though I thanked her for this, she may never know how deeply it affected me, how comforting it was to know that someone else felt my pain. That someone else would care enough to pray for me and the situation.  That someone else would listen to Gods urging and write to me such encouraging words.

So to sum it up I have learned is this-

Trust God.  He will heal you, He loves you and wants to take away your pain.  

God speaks. Listen for Him.  Watch for Him in unexpected places.

Trust a friend. God wants to use others to help you heal. 

I was made for more

Being on a fast makes reading my daily devotions seem to draw me closer to God.  But of course that is what I am praying for - to grow closer to God; to understand and accept things that happen and I cannot control.  

During my devotion today this came to me-

I was made for more 

I was made for more than the guilt I feel for not living my past life right. 

I was made for more than the chocolate I crave in the middle of the night.

I was made for more than the bathroom scale says I am. 

and I was made for more than I am able to think I can.

You are made for more too.  What ever you are going through, what ever war is waging inside of you, you are made for more.  

I am going to focus on trying NOT to change things out of my control,  it just brings out that “out of control freaked out woman” that I loathe so much, and fires up the three ring circus in my head.  Better to just remember this verse when I am feeling like jumping of the edge.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
    do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek his will in all you do,
    and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

Goodbye 2013

Like many others I have been reflecting on what has happened in the past year.  There is so much to think about, why did it happen, what did I learn, how could I have prevented it or made it better.  

There will always be things out of our control- like when I lost my job, or things that can’t be made better, like the birth of my beautiful granddaughter.  But if you look into the hard times, generally there is at least a lesson to be learned.  I don’t believe that God will lead us into circumstances to teach a lesson, but our free will does lead us to places at times that God will use as teachable moments. 

In January during my fast I realized I was depending on food more than God, so I began listening more closely for Him; which turned out to be a good thing  because God began preparing me for a my job loss. In May the day before of my release, God confirmed it.  Through that I learned that I had placed my identity in the job and not in Christ. 

This all lead to the short sale of our home. Without my income we are more focused on trusting God with our finances and providing the things we need, not what we want.  

And provide He has! A house to rent in a great area close to our children and at a good price.  Prefect for the connect groups from our church, friends and family to gather and have fun.  All the grand kids live closer to us now so we can enjoy frequent visits and craft projects with lots of glue and glitter....

The Lord is my strength and shield.    I trust him with all my heart.He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.    I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalms 28:7

Then there is  blessing of our new grand girl in September; she constantly smiles for everyone to reminding us that just seeing a smile can make feel happier. 

God has placed a wonderful group of women in my life to encourage and support me in this last year.  Friendships that will last a lifetime. I pray that I have been a blessing to them as well.

There were emotional times too, hurts that I don’t understand but I am trusting God to heal in due time. I know there is something to be learned from them too, perhaps it is unconditional love.

All in all 2013 was eventful year and at times the 3 ring circus was reeling in my head. There were circumstances I know I couldn’t have ever gotten through without knowing God was with me, for me, and loving me through it all.  Remember, no circumstance is ever a waste if you learn something from it, and know God will help you through it all. Just listen for Him; He is there waiting on you.