Life Like an Ocean

Here is a short story I wrote recently when I was thinking about how fast life passes us by.

Life Like an Ocean

Life can be like the ocean. The ebb and flow of the tides rhythmically moving in and out. Life gently pushing us along, drawing us into and out of seasons like a seashell tumbling along the shore. We settle into comfort with the sweeter moments that tumble our way, like finding love for the very first time or the birth of a child.  We get swept up in these warm feelings and long to stay there forever.

 But life can be like an ocean.  Angry waves can come our way, creating times when it seems we have lost all control of life.  Like a thundering wave slamming that little seashell into the rocky shore, life can break little pieces from your soul. 

Our sweet moments are lost in our memory, for in the present we have to survive the tumultuous wave that the winds of life has cast our way. We fight with ourselves to make it past this wave without drowning.  We fight for those feelings; those feelings that make us want to breathe in life again.  We fight for the comfort of those sweet moments we knew.

Life can be like an ocean. Once the storm passes, there is a gentle ebb and flow of the tides. Seashells tumbling along the shore and life rhythmically flowing along too.

 

Goodbye 2013

Like many others I have been reflecting on what has happened in the past year.  There is so much to think about, why did it happen, what did I learn, how could I have prevented it or made it better.  

There will always be things out of our control- like when I lost my job, or things that can’t be made better, like the birth of my beautiful granddaughter.  But if you look into the hard times, generally there is at least a lesson to be learned.  I don’t believe that God will lead us into circumstances to teach a lesson, but our free will does lead us to places at times that God will use as teachable moments. 

In January during my fast I realized I was depending on food more than God, so I began listening more closely for Him; which turned out to be a good thing  because God began preparing me for a my job loss. In May the day before of my release, God confirmed it.  Through that I learned that I had placed my identity in the job and not in Christ. 

This all lead to the short sale of our home. Without my income we are more focused on trusting God with our finances and providing the things we need, not what we want.  

And provide He has! A house to rent in a great area close to our children and at a good price.  Prefect for the connect groups from our church, friends and family to gather and have fun.  All the grand kids live closer to us now so we can enjoy frequent visits and craft projects with lots of glue and glitter....

The Lord is my strength and shield.    I trust him with all my heart.He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.    I burst out in songs of thanksgiving. Psalms 28:7

Then there is  blessing of our new grand girl in September; she constantly smiles for everyone to reminding us that just seeing a smile can make feel happier. 

God has placed a wonderful group of women in my life to encourage and support me in this last year.  Friendships that will last a lifetime. I pray that I have been a blessing to them as well.

There were emotional times too, hurts that I don’t understand but I am trusting God to heal in due time. I know there is something to be learned from them too, perhaps it is unconditional love.

All in all 2013 was eventful year and at times the 3 ring circus was reeling in my head. There were circumstances I know I couldn’t have ever gotten through without knowing God was with me, for me, and loving me through it all.  Remember, no circumstance is ever a waste if you learn something from it, and know God will help you through it all. Just listen for Him; He is there waiting on you.

What's Important To You?

Think about that, and really be honest with yourself and ask what is important to you. Is it to be wealthy ? Is it to be famous? Or are you half way committed to family and half way to a worldly goal? Perhaps you aren’t really committed to anything and prefer to “ go with the flow”.  

Whatever you are committing yourself to now will determine your future life.  So if you aren’t committed to anything or are committed to things that do not share the same values you are likely to end up frustrated or floating in mediocrity.  If you focus more on the worldly ways of wealth and fame, you risk being bitter and disappointed in what your life has become. 

I speak from experience here, early in life I made poor choices, some that have come back to bite me.  My choices were self centered and lacking wisdom concerning my future.  I was living day to day, going with the flow of the world and partying my way through life. I made little effort towards getting an education until in my 30’s when it became apparent I needed more knowledge to get on with my worldly goals.  My family truly suffered, both my relationship with my parents and little did I know the relationship with my children, I just couldn’t see past today.

So everything will be destroyed. And what kind of people should you be? You should lead holy and godly lives. 2 Peter 3:11 NIRV

In the last several years I have developed a wonderful relationship with God, and with His help I have made a complete turn around in my  life. The lines between the families, step & biological, became amazingly blurred.   Holidays and birthdays have become times with “friends”; no resentment of each other, just our crazy functional-dysfunctional  family. People were amazed that we could all get along.  Though we would explain that it hadn’t aways been that way, I am sure everyone agrees we are grateful that we let God take control and make things right between us.  

There are some relationships that still need work, however long it takes, I will give that to God to work on; I know it is not my job to repair everything, but is God’s job.

However you don’t have to wait; stop, think about what is important to you today, before it is too late and you have repair broken relationships or end up living a frustrated meaningless life. Let God direct your way, you may not understand where he is leading you, but you don’t have to, He sees the whole picture of your life- you don’t.

No more Masks

No more masks. For years I wore the mask of happiness and confidence.  Having difficulties in my marriage, my job and finances, anytime I had to be in public I put on the mask so no one could see my faults, insecurities or what I considered to be my failures.  It was exhausting and took its toll on me mentally and physically.  My doctor prescribed drugs for depression, and after losing three days I began to function with the drugs in my system. That’s pretty scary in it’s self right?  Life was good for a while; but then the same tune started playing in my head -  doot doot, doodle, doodle, doot, doot, do do… You can hear it can’t you…. the three-ring circus,  well out comes the masks.

“ Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”

James 5:16

 Perhaps if I had lived out this verse, things could have been different.  But I didn’t feel like I had anyone I could “confess” to and well, who wants to do that anyway?

It is in the darkness we hide, (mask) our sins (faults, insecurities and failures).  Look for a trusted friend that you can share your feelings with; someone that will pray with you, heartfelt prayers for your healing and restoration. Confessing these things, bringing light the dark areas of your life, is freeing and opens you up for God to use you to heal & help others that may be going through the same thing. 

Since I have lost my job, my home is in short sale and my finances are much, much lower than they have ever been, I feel freer than I ever have. I should be hearing the pipe organ for the three-ring circus, but I feel peace! It’s all out in the open and no mask required. I have trusted friends I have asked for prayer. 

I am trusting God, doing my part and knowing that whatever the outcome, God is in control and has my interests - because I am on His best list ( Insert Big Smile Here).

Here I go....

Well, here goes my first Blog post.  I have been thinking about this for years, but never felt I really had anything to write, besides if I did put it out there, who would want to read it?  Through the encouragement of friends that have read my Facebook posts I gathered the courage and here is the blog.

I have called the blog "My Life in Field Trips" because that is what my life seems like to me. A series of field trips filled with highs, lows, and life lessons. Eventually growing closer to God, I realized that life's instructions where with me all along.

I hope you will find the stories I write inspiring, that you grow closer to God and maybe even learn from some of my mistakes.  

I look forward to sharing with you my Field Trips.